Being in love and having the other person feel the same way about you is a beautiful journey. However, relationships are not rosy all the time. While you’re suffering from the pain of a broken heart, it’s only natural to wonder if your SO is also going through the same. Are there any signs he regrets hurting you? After all, do guys regret letting a good girl go?
Your mind may be racing with these endless questions and you will find yourself looking for clues. Perhaps, you need to know for your own peace of mind or so that you can rekindle the relationship. How to know he regrets hurting you? Here are some signs:
13 Signs He Regrets Hurting You
Do men regret losing a good woman? A Reddit user wrote, “All the time. Its been over 10yrs and I still regret losing her. She cared for me, put me first, most of the things she did was for me and I dumped her..I’m paying for it every day.. Haven’t met anyone like her and I’m living my Karma as I write this.”
1. He keeps chasing you
A Reddit user wrote, “I have an ex from years ago who dumped me. I was the first woman who cared for him deeply. Treated him good and accepted his flaws. We didn’t get back together although he regretted his decision and tried to win me back after a month and even months later he was still chasing me.
“Years passed by and he dated another woman. She didn’t treat him right like I did and along their relationship all he could think of was our time together. They broke up eventually and he tried to take me again lol.” Hence, if he keeps coming back to you even after dating other people, then you’re the kind of girl guys regret losing.
2. He checks on you more than usual
When he knows he messed up, he will try to make it up to you by showing empathy/compassion. If he’s worried about you and constantly calls/messages to make sure you are okay, these are signs a guy is heartbroken. He can’t seem to get out of the habit of staying in touch with you all day. That’s why he tries to connect constantly with some pretext or another. If frequent check-ins are not a sign of remorse, then what are?
Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs Your Partner Is Going To Break Up With You Soon
3. He is willing to see things from your POV
Do guys regret taking you for granted? Yes. How do they make up for it? Consider these scenarios:
- He tries really hard to understand where you’re coming from
- He tries to put himself in your shoes, every now and then
- He is willing to listen to you, even when what you say makes him uncomfortable
Analyze his behavior closely, and you’ll have your answer. His actions will show he’s trying to rebuild love after emotional damage.
4. He can’t stop showing up
One of the signs he regrets hurting you is that he will look for reasons and excuses to be around you. Here are some examples:
- You might find him at your favorite spots like your regular restaurant or supermarket
- He may show up outside your workplace or your home
- He may show up at a common friend’s party/attend events that are usually not his cup of tea
Beware, these are signs you are dating a stalker. It may seem like a strange coincidence but he knows your schedule and knows where to find you. These are some of the strongest signs he’s feeling regret after breaking up, but is it cute or creepy? That is for you to decide.
5. He’s trying to make amends
How to know he regrets hurting you? You will see a change in his actions and not just empty promises of being better. He won’t be direct with grand romantic gestures, but his actions will make it clear that he wants you back. If you are cheated upon and still decide to make a go of your relationship, you are in the driver’s seat. Remember, he has to win back your trust, so put the onus on him to make amends. A repentant man will go out of his way to attend to your needs.
If in the pre-cheating days, he rarely had the time for the kids’ homework or run errands around the house, in his new avatar, he might become more hands-on. He realizes that he has broken your heart, so the first step toward the long road to reconciliation would be to ensure your comforts are taken care of, even if it means putting himself in discomfort.
6. He is willing to seek professional help
The fact that he is willing to invest his time and energy in rebuilding his relationship with you is among the signs he regrets hurting you. Let an experienced professional help you along your journey. Maybe he’s not sure either about how to show remorse after cheating and requires guidance in that area. If you’re currently struggling with recovering after infidelity in your dynamic and wish to avail professional help, Bonobology has a multitude of experienced therapists who can help you through this trying time.
If he’s willing to work on himself, this is his way of saying that you still mean something to him. He probably misses you. Now, it is for you to decide whether you miss your ex or miss being in love. If the answer is the former, it could be worth reconsidering a future with him. But remember, fixing a failed relationship/giving someone a second chance requires a lot of patience.
7. He goes the extra mile
The partner who has caused the hurt can’t just say “sorry” and fix the other partner’s paranoia. If your SO cheated, every time he doesn’t answer your call or comes home late, you will feel anxious. Likewise, if the damage has been triggered by constant belittling or manipulation, you will likely to be more sensitive and wary of his words.
Hence, he needs to go the extra mile to fix the damage. If he has hurt you by infidelity, here are examples of behaviors that he regrets his actions:
- He has become an open book, who keeps zero secrets from you
- If the person he had an affair with contacts him, he lets you know
- He’s making an extra effort to win your trust back, even if it means being accountable every minute of the day
8. He feels genuinely sorry
How do guys show they are sorry? According to the Gottman Repair Checklist, here are some phrases one uses when trying to show accountability for the damage that they caused:
- “I really blew that one”
- “I can see my part in all this”
- “How can I make things better?”
- “I’m sorry. Please forgive me”
- “I want to be gentler to you right now and I don’t know how”
A Reddit user wrote, “Often we may feel remorse for an action or careless words, and WANT to make amends, but can get clumsy around the actual apology itself.” So, when a man knows he messed up, his apology won’t feel fake to you. You will be able to see the genuineness, in his eyes and in his words.
Related Reading: Men vs Women – 5 Differences In How They Handle A Breakup
9. He is obsessed with the ‘what ifs’
A Reddit user wrote, “The relationship wasn’t working well, we had very different needs at the time. She’s still the best person I know. I don’t regret it so much as I think what would have happened? Would it have been just a rough patch in an otherwise great relationship? I seriously love her as a person and wish her the best. I occasionally get hit with a bit of jealousy and the ‘what ifs’.”
So, if he is still obsessed with hypothetical possibilities/what if questions, you’re definitely the kind of girl guys regret losing. Even my ex regrets breaking up with me. How do I know? He keeps using the following statements:
- “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we were still together”
- “Can we start from scratch, go to our favorite places and make those good memories again?”
- “The regret after breakup has taken me over. I still have strong feelings for you”
10. He wants to stay friends after the breakup
Studies reveal that maintaining connection after breakup is a common way to lessen the pain of a heartbreak. But this also implies that staying in touch with an ex can eventually lead to a patch up. So, if he is up for staying friends after the breakup, it’s synonymous with “I regret losing her”.
As leadership coach Kena Shree points out, “You can still fall in love with your ex, while you are committed to someone else. This is because you are looking at your ex from a distance. Being friends with your ex shows versions of them that you didn’t know existed. So, you are at the risk of falling in love with them all over again.”
11. Your loved ones can see the change
If your marriage or committed relationship has faced the tsunami of infidelity, close friends or family will get a whiff of it. Just the way a crisis doesn’t appear suddenly, it doesn’t disappear all of a sudden either. So if you really want to know if your partner has mended his ways, seek the opinion of people you trust. They will be the best judge.
Related Reading: 13 Warning Signs Of Being Obsessed With Someone
In your obsession and yearning to make things work between you two, you might misconstrue the smallest actions to be signs he regrets losing you. Wishful thinking, as it’s called. Your clouded judgment may not be the best thing for you, which is when your friends and family can help you out.
12. He is more loving toward you
Do guys regret taking you for granted? Yes. How do they show it? By being more loving toward you. His behavior might remind you of the time you first started dating, as he tries to bring back the excitement of those days by:
- Saying ‘I love you’ like he really means it
- Holding your hand/hugging you in public
- Kissing your forehead/cheek
Cheating often occurs when a couple is well-entrenched in a relationship and one of them goes astray for whatever reason. It can also happen in a new relationship. When cheaters realize they made a mistake and he tries to make amends, it’s as good as trying to woo you anew, so he will be on his best behavior.
13. He spends quality time with you
My friend (who parted ways with his partner) told me, “I pushed her away and now I regret it. She was the best thing that happened to me. I regret letting her go. Will I ever find love again?” To win his SO back, he resorted to:
- Cuddling session, eye contact
- Revealing secrets to her
- Scheduling weekly date nights
- Picking up a new hobby together (skydiving/watching artsy movies)
So, when you regret hurting someone, you find ways to spend more time with them. If he expresses quality time love language, then it’s one of the sure-shot signs he regrets hurting you.
- Do guys feel guilty for hurting you? Yes if they end up taking responsibility for it
- Another good sign is if he still has eyes for only you instead a new woman in his social life
- There’s a big difference between feeling sorry and just apologizing for the sake of it
- Another sign he feels bad could be him drunk dialing you or stalking your social media
- The most important thing is that your loved ones can see he has changed
Finally, if you’re wondering “Will he ever apologize for hurting me?” or “Is he avoiding me because he feels guilty?”, the most important thing is to stop waiting for closure. Maybe, the Universe is trying to take you out of a painful situation. Maybe, better is coming! Also, the first place to look for love is your own heart…