If you’re here checking for signs he has no feelings for you, chances are you’ve sensed that he has no romantic feelings for you in your gut.
But that’s not always the case, as some guys can be confusing. These guys may be confused about their feelings for you, or be dealing with past trauma that makes their behavior erratic.
Not only that, but what manifests as him not having feelings for you could be a temporary state of resentment (if you’ve hurt him or he has hurt you, or you’re fighting a lot).
As hurtful as it is going to be to read through some of these signs, just know that life isn’t just this guy.
It’s natural to want to zero in on this guy and try to get him back. But this often damages our chances more than anything else.
So what you have to do is try to zoom out and:
- See the lessons
- Have the courage to appreciate certain things about the circumstances
- Have some more acceptance for both him and yourself
- Know that you are greater than your problems (even though it really doesn’t feel like it!)
With that said, let’s get into the signs.
(If you see 5 or more of the signs on this list, that’s the warning sign that you need to pay close attention. If you see 7 or more signs on this list, then you can be reasonably sure he has no feelings for you.)
Any more than 7 signs and you really need to question why you’re bothering with this man.
#1: You Have To Initiate Contact All The Time
If a man has romantic feelings for you, he’s going to want to text, talk and communicate with you at least some of the time.
No matter how busy he is, he’ll want to hear your voice or see your face.
If he never reaches out to you via text, phone or in person, that’s all the answers you need regarding his feelings for you.
#2: His Communication is Monotone
If you ever speak to him in person, notice the tone of his voice.
If a man has no feelings for you (or if he is losing interest), he might actually want to push you away.
One way he can do that is by making his voice more robotic and monotone. He’s not invested in you and doesn’t want to put any effort in you, so he shows it through his voice.
He doesn’t want you close and he’s trying to communicate that without coming across as an asshole.
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#3: He Abandons You When You Need Him The Most
Men who have feelings for a woman have more resistance to abandoning her.
I mean, if he’s in love, he’ll never abandon you when you’re obviously vulnerable.
He just won’t be able to do it. Unless you’re pushing him away. But even then, he won’t be able to stay away for long.
But a guy who isn’t in love with you probably will, unless he has the identity of being a superb guy with great morals.
#4: He Doesn’t Mind Making You Feel Like An Afterthought
…Or just an option.
If he has no feelings for you, he won’t have you, your feelings or your welfare at the forefront of his mind.
He’ll be thinking about work, his family, or other women.
But the real question is: does he even give a damn about how that would make you feel?
If he doesn’t, then he definitely has no feelings for you.
#5: He Leaves Quickly After Sex
Does he spend time with you after sex?
Is he paying attention to you –at all – after sex?
If he’s not, it’s a warning sign that he’s just not that into you.
A man who has romantic feelings for a woman will find it difficult to leave quickly after sex.
He may even try to drag out the time he spends with her, simply out of love.
So don’t kid yourself – if he’s always “got to be somewhere” after you have had sex, he’s likely just trying to leave as quickly as possible.
Maybe he doesn’t want to invest too much in you, have you get more attached to him, or perhaps he doesn’t want to give you the impression that he belongs to you (when he has no intention to.)
#6: He’s Always On His Phone When He’s Around You
A clear sign he has no feelings for you is when he pays his phone more attention than he pays you.
Although being married to your phone is commonplace among the younger generation, men in love want to be with the woman.
They want to pay attention to her.
I mean, they cannot help it! They are irresistibly drawn to her!
The phone will not compare to the woman.
The exception is some businessmen who cannot leave their phone, as if they do, it means failure of something important.
Regardless, even these types of businessmen will make sure you know and trust that they intend to spend quality time with you when he’s done. If he’s in love.
If he’s on his phone too much when around you, it can make you feel bad. So in order to stay high value in this situation, I recommend you say two specific words to him:
#7: He Simply Doesn’t Care (& You’re In Denial About It)
You’ll know it when your stomach drops through the floor you’re standing on. The disappointment and the pain will be a heavy load.
We all find out at some point or other when someone doesn’t really care about us.
The question is: will you be paying attention?
Will you be willing to accept what your gut is telling you?
More than that – his actions will tell you he doesn’t care.
One example is: you’ll be telling him things about yourself or your life, and he will laugh them off or be in a rush to leave. He doesn’t want to listen. He doesn’t want to be responsible.
#8: He Is Not Romantic With You Anymore
One (less) clear sign a man is losing interest is when all the romance dies away.
I say “less clear” because romance naturally dies off in a committed relationship. It’s impossible to keep up the chasing, the romantic fawning over each other and the gestures at the same level over time.
Sure, some men manage to still bring their girlfriend or wife flowers every week, for example.
But most of the time, even in great relationships, the romance slowly gives way for raising kids together or building a life together.
This is why I say this isn’t a clear sign he’s not into you. It could just be a natural progression in a healthy relationship.
But it can still be one of the signs when it’s seen alongside other signs.
The key to look for?
When a lack of romantic feelings are coupled with nonchalance.
In other words, not only does he seem to be losing interest in you romantically, he’s also indifferent towards you.
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#9: He Never Comforts You
This is more of a maybe sign. In other words, a lot of men don’t know how to comfort a woman, even if they’re in love.
They may not need comfort when they’re going through hardship themselves, so they project this need to be alone and undisturbed onto you. (Read more about this in my article: Why Men
But if a guy used to comfort you and now doesn’t anymore, he may have either lost interest, or is processing something emotionally himself.
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#10: He’s Not Loyal To You
If a man is in love with you, he’ll be loyal to you.
This is because if he’s in love, he’ll see you as his one and only.
Only one woman can be in this category for all men.
And the only other category they place the women they date into, is the “one of many”.
A man can desire you sexually and see you as the one of many.
But if he sees you as the one and only, he’ll invest everything in you. He’ll be loyal to a fault.
All of his resources will go to you and he will take pride in providing for you in this way.
But not only that, he’ll barely notice the effort it takes, because he’ll want to commit to you and be loyal to you.
Men never do this for the women in their “one of many” category, however.
Even if they’re sexually attracted to them, and even if they have an emotional connection with them.
So if a man’s not loyal to you, he definitely doesn’t have feelings for you. He’s likely still out looking for his one and only whilst keeping you in the background.
Never be the one of many again. Don’t settle for less than that.
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#11: He Doesn’t Mind You Talking About Other Guys (No Jealousy)
If a guy wants you for himself, he’s not going to like it when you talk about how hot some other guy is.
In fact, if you even hint at the fact that another guy is desirable or powerful in some way, he will react to it.
He’s not stupid.
And he wants to protect the relationship (and the woman) he sees as his.
But wait – what if you mention another guy’s biceps and he smiles in agreement?
What if you tell him about the guy who kept hitting on you at work and he laughs like a good friend would?
Need I say anymore?
#12: He Forgets Important Details About You
- Where you live
- Your phone number
- The name of your childhood best friend
- Your favorite color; or
- Your beloved pet’s name
If a man is emotionally attached to you and he cares about you, you’ll be surprised to see that he remembers little details about you, even some details you’ve forgotten about yourself.
It’s just how they are when they’re falling in love.
#13: His Body Language Screams Indifference
- Shrug a lot when you tell him important things?
- Walk off on you?
- Not seem to notice you when you walk in the room?
- Stop returning your calls?
Then he might not have feelings for you. Or he’s lost interest.
#14: He Doesn’t Mind Leaving You On Read…Indefinitely
Does he read your texts but never reply?
That’s a major red flag.
If you’re in this situation, don’t chase him. No matter how great he is, we need to keep your dignity intact.
#15: He Isn’t Spending Time With You Anymore
The greatest asset we have is our time.
But we won’t hesitate to give the gift of our time to someone we’re in love with. In fact, it’s painful not to give our time to them.
A man who wants you will desire physical contact with you, period.
He won’t like being away from you for too long.
Sure, we all have to go away on occasion (sometimes often), but you’ll feel where his centre of gravity is.
Is it to come back to you?
Or is it to pick up other women?
Only you can answer that.
#16: He Doesn’t Pay Attention When You Speak
Is he looking around at other women when you’re speaking to him?
Does he have that glazed over, zoning out look in his eyes?
Or, maybe he’s more interested in talking at you, and prefers to dismiss what you have to say.
That’s not a healthy, reciprocal relationship.
That’s also a one-sided conversation. Some even call it conversational narcissism.
And I hate to break it to you, but real nascissists can’t fall in love. So don’t expect him to have feelings for you.
#17: It Just Doesn’t Feel Right Anymore
If everything used to feel right, but you’ve felt him slipping further away for a while, then perhaps things aren’t so right anymore.
Perhaps the party’s over.
Maybe you guys were only meant to come together for the short-term. Maybe you were never meant to be together at all.
Not every failing relationship is doomed forever of course.
But you still need to be aware enough to know when a man’s heart and emotions are out of reach.
Whether you stay and fight for your relationship or not is truly up to you and your unique circumstances.
#18: He Is Interested In Other Women
This is a strong sign that a man is either detaching from you, or he wasn’t ever yours to begin with.
If the bulk of his free time and energy is going to chasing other women, then to him, you may have been in the same category as those other women he’s chasing (the one of many).
I understand it’s tempting to fall for a guy who comes on strong and gives us lots of attention in the beginning.
But that’s just a strategy.
It doesn’t always mean that you’re “the one” in his mind.
We really have to take the time to test men. As women we can be vulnerable to men who say the right things and refuse to leave us alone (even if they’re just looking for sex or attention).
#19: He Is Not Making Plans For The Future
That was making plans, not talking about plans.
If he’s into you, he’ll make plans for the both of you. Even smaller plans like going on a weekend trip away.
He’ll take your desires, wants and goals into account and he’ll want to include you in all of his future plans.
But if he isn’t doing that – if he isn’t talking about, or making plans for the future at all – it could mean he’s either not that into you, (ie: he wants to leave space for another woman), or he’s losing interest.
#20: He Hides The Relationship From The World
Some men are willing to keep women they don’t really fancy hanging around – but they’ll make sure you only exist in the background.
Either because they don’t want you thinking they’re committed to you, or because they’re not proud of the relationship – for whatever reason.
If this is you, it’s no easy reality to come to terms with.
We all want to be with someone who is proud to show us off and be seen with us.
Don’t convince yourself otherwise – for any reason. There’s no excuse he could give you that would make this ok.
(And if he’s a married man, this sign could indicate that he’s using you.)
There are men who will treat you like dirt, and you don’t have to be ok with that.
If you’re currently in this position and you want to do the right thing by yourself, you have my permission to tell him you hate him. He probably deserves it, and it’s probably been a long time coming.
#21: He Doesn’t Let You Leave Stuff At His Place
Is he nervous about you leaving stuff at his place?
Have you tried to leave things behind in the past – but he always notices and forces you to take them home with you?
Well, this is not good.
It’s one of the warning signs that he doesn’t truly want you or love you.
If he did, it’d be the opposite – he’d love you leaving your things around. Even if he lived in a cubicle home.
#22: He Never Seems to Miss You
If we have feelings for someone, we usually miss them when they’re gone for an extended period.
Of course, if a guy is extra busy on a business trip, he might not have much room to miss you.
But he still will miss you, and you’ll hear him say it (or at the very least, feel it).
So if he never misses you and doesn’t seem to mind being apart from you, he may not have feelings for you.
#23: He’s Resorting To Abuse
If a guy has been losing interest in you but avoiding telling you that he’s lost interest, he may try to hint at the fact that he doesn’t love you or want you around.
But sometimes that’s not enough – some women don’t want to face the truth about his lack of love. It’s hard, after all.
Thus when he gets frustrated that he’s pushing you away – but you’re not hearing the indirect message – there’s a chance he may resort to abuse to drive you away.
The fact is that if a guy is not the abusive type, he won’t abuse you when he’s lost interest. He’ll have the courage to tell you where you stand with him.
On the other hand, some guys will have an abusive streak that they’ve managed to hide from you – so far.
And when he can’t hide it anymore, when he feels like interacting with you raises his stress levels too far, he’ll crack.
Please don’t see this as a reason to think that there’s anything wrong with you.
Remember, good guys don’t abuse no matter what. They have much better strategies to deal with women.
But some guys aren’t so great, and will definitely abuse you to get rid of you.
#24: You Have A Gut Feeling He Doesn’t Feel Anything For You
You may objectively notice signs he’s not into you, but is your gut also screaming the truth to you?
Do you walk around with this pressing feeling that this just feels wrong, and it’s not right to be around him?
That means it might be time to stop hoping.
If you’ve experienced childhood trauma or abuse in the past, you may have convinced yourself that the only safe place you can be is with someone who feels nothing for you and could discard you at any moment.
The same goes for if you’re insecurely attached.
Insecure attachment can make us try to get love and attention from people who don’t care about us, let alone love us.
But it’s ok for someone not to love you.
They don’t have to love you, and it’s ok for you to not love them.
It’s ok for you to be angry about them not loving you in return, but you really have to ask yourself:
“Am I really angry at this man for not loving me? Or am I actually angry at my parents for not loving me?”
What To Do If He Has No Feelings For You
If after reading this you’ve concluded that you’re in an abusive relationship, you need to get out, period. And then you need to look closely at what lead you to that abusive relationship.
- Is it low self esteem?
- Is it self hatred?
- Lack of awareness or familiarity with abusive, toxic personalities?
- Fear of abandonment?
Address these factors at the core, and nip the self sabotaging patterns at the bud.
If you’re not in an abusive relationship, let’s make the next step nice and simple:
The best thing to do is ask yourself whether there’s any chance you think you could be placed in this guy’s “one and only” basket.
Because he can only put you in one of two baskets: the one and only basket, or the one of many basket.
If you’re in the one of many basket (ie: he’s giving you crumbs), then there’s a small chance you can manoeuvre yourself into the one and only basket.
To do that, check out my program “Becoming His One and Only”.You won’t regret it, I promise.
By the way, when I say there’s a “small chance” you can get out of that basket with this guy, I do mean small chance. It’s definitely not impossible.
But it’s definitely harder to squeeze yourself into that basket if you were already placed in the “one of many” basket.
If you feel in your gut there’s no future with the guy, then what you need to do now is to move forward with your life and make space for the right man.
To do that, you need to give yourself time to process what happened with this guy first. Don’t try to jump the gun and end up in a rebound relationship…you may end up hurting someone else.
If you think he’s already placed you in the one and only basket but somehow you fell out of that basket, it’s still possible to move back into that basket, by:
- First addressing what went wrong; and then
- Using the 5 feminine triggers to make him fall in love with you again
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do You Test If He Has Feelings For You?
Throw him a curveball and see how his body reacts.
If you want the perfect example of a curveball you can use today to test him, click here to get one.
Subtle Signs He Has No Feelings For You?
Subtle signs he has no feelings for you all manifest through body language and behavior.
- Him turning away from you when you’re talking
- Sitting a little too far out of reach
- Not looking you in the eyes when making love
- Treating you no differently to how he treats anyone else
- Gravitating towards others at the party and away from you
Signs He Is No Longer Interested In You Over Text?
- He no longer initiates texting
- He leaves you on read indefinitely
- He doesn’t read your messages at all
- He forgets to reply (for long periods, like days or weeks)
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.