Is He Pushing Me Away? 13 Sad Signs He Is & What to Do – The Feminine Woman – Dating, Love & Relationship Advice for Women


When a man pushes a woman away, it feels lonely and hurtful.

How can someone act like they wanted to be with you, but then just push you out of their life and sabotage the trust you’ve built up?

Doesn’t he care about how it makes you feel?

The answer is that he might care and he might not. 

We have to work out whether he does by discovering the reason why he’s pushing you away (and whether he is actually pushing you away).

When a guy pushes you away, there can be several reasons why.

But at the core of these reasons there are four main causes of his actions. These causes are:

  1. He doesn’t feel worthy of you
  2. He has insecure attachment patterns (this includes him pushing you away when he’s under stress, which I will explain soon)
  3. He doesn’t actually want you or love you; or
  4. He wants to be alone
Is he pushing me away

Do Guys Push You Away When They Love You?

Some guys will push you away even when they love you.

It is ironic, but that’s how insecurely attached people act.

Conversely, if your man is securely attached and loves you, he will not push you away.

In fact, his actions will gravitate towards bringing you closer, not pushing you further away.

Now, I know sometimes it’s hard to know if your specific man is likely to commit to the relationship. 

So if you’d like to work out how commitment-friendly your man is (and if he’s likely to be serious about you in the future), you can do that with our free and easy quiz:

QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!

Is He Pushing Me Away?

Sometimes it’s not clear whether a guy is pushing you away or just needs to focus on work.

Other times a man might be under stress, and pushing you away so that he can minimize distractions in order to focus on tackling the stressful situation.

But how do you know for sure that he is actually pushing you away?

It takes a little dissecting, but that’s what I’m here to help you do. Let’s look at the 12 typical signs someone is pushing you away (but specifically, a man).

How Do You Tell If A Guy Is Pushing You Away?

Now let’s discuss the signs he is trying to push you away. These signs will tell you for sure whether he’s actually pushing you away or not. 

#1: He’s Cold Towards You

When a man pushes a woman away, the first thing you’ll notice is that he’s cold towards you.

And if a man has been consistently cold towards you for weeks or months, then he’s definitely pushing you away.

Of course, there are times in which someone’s actions don’t match what they’re truly feeling in their heart.

As a woman, you’ll relate to this: if you are cold towards someone, you don’t always fully mean it.

In other words, you don’t always want to push a man away even when you’re acting cold.

There are times in which you are cold towards your boyfriend or husband, but inside, you really wish he’d come towards you, claim you and own your soul.

Similarly, there are times in which a man may act cold towards you but secretly wants to keep you and still likes you.

However, if a man is consistently cold towards you in person, in text and through any other communication medium, then you can be sure that he is pushing you away, and means it.

A guy consistently giving you the cold shoulder means that he doesn’t want to bring you closer and doesn’t want to invest in you.

It’s time to accept it.

how to stay high value

#2: He Doesn’t Touch You

This is one of the strongest signs someone is pushing you away. If he doesn’t touch you and recoils often when you touch him, then he’s pushing you away.

It should be self explanatory, because touch is one of the typical indicators of closeness (and the desire to be intimate).

So if he avoids touching you, that’s a heads up that he doesn’t want to be close to you.

When a man pushes a woman away

#3: He’s Extremely Critical of You

Sometimes we can be in a relationship with someone or even be married to them for decades, and they seem to constantly criticize us.

It happens in a lot of different types of relationships – friendships, parent-child relationships, and work relationships.

However, your intimate relationship is supposed to be a place you go that’s safe.

You’re not meant to go home to someone who always wants to find your faults and expose them.

If a man is doing this to you, he either:

  • Secretly hates you
  • Resents you
  • Has one foot out the door; or
  • Is trying really hard to push you away
learn the dark feminine art of High Value Banter here.

#4: He Invents Stories or Makes Up Bullsh*t About You 

This is a brazen thing for a guy to do, but it’s one of the clear signs he is trying to push you away.

Also a strong sign of gaslighting, if a man makes up stories about you or lies about you (to you or to other people), he’s likely pushing you away.

It seems crazy when you’re going through it, and this kind of thing never occurs inside of healthy relationships.

But some people really will make up nonsense about you, as a last resort to communicate that they don’t want you close to them.

It’s one of the ultimate signs someone is pushing you away.

It’s also a typical tool of the narcissistic gaslighter.

Narcissists don’t know how to get close to people, and they don’t know how to connect or create intimacy (nor do they really want to).

(Even if they’re married!)

So if your man or partner pushes you away by making up BS about you often, it’s not because he has bad judgement or can’t remember the facts.

It’s because he doesn’t want to be close to you!

Case Study: Learn How our member Alison went from attracting perpetual abusive relationships…
…To finally learning the skill of weeding out the wrong types of men, and passing the hardest test of them all… an accidental pregnancy after a month of dating! (…All by learning one simple skill.)

#5: His Actions Make You Feel Dumb And Inadequate

No, it’s not just your imagination. If a guy says or does things that make you feel dumb and lowers your self esteem, he wants to push you away.

Of course he could also just be toxic, manipulative and controlling.

But even some non toxic people can some out with things that lower your self esteem when they want to push you away.

If your man is otherwise kind, but has been making you feel dumb or like you’re not enough for him, he might be trying very hard to push you away.

If you notice this sign, there could also be more other motives behind it. There’s a small chance he might be cheating or is losing interest in you.

Related: Is My Boyfriend Cheating? 15 Secret Signs He Is.

Sometimes a man loses interest but doesn’t want to be the one to break up with you due to guilt.

However, this doesn’t mean he can change the way he feels inside. 

He might feel guilty for leaving you, but still tries to sabotage the relationship by magnifying your insecurities.

You can express your anger over this (and test his level of commitment to you) by saying two specific words to him.

Learn the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

#6: He Avoids Eye Contact 

When we ask ourselves is he pushing me away, it’s imperative to look for answers in his body language.

If he constantly avoids eye contact with you, that’s him screaming out that he doesn’t want to interact with you, and doesn’t want you to come close to him.

Often coupled with the cold shoulder or turning his back to you, avoiding eye contact with you is a major sign that he’s pushing you away.

If you love this man and want to stay committed to him, I recommend you use one specific emotional trigger to get through to him and trigger his desire to want to take care of you.

CLICK HERE to LEARN the One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Masculine Man That Inspires Him to Want to Take Care of You, Worship You and Deeply Commit to You.

#7: He Doesn’t Answer Your Calls or Make Contact With You

Any healthy relationship is based on mutual initiation of contact, and a mutual desire for contact.

If your man wants to commit to you and keep you in his life, his effort to make contact with you will be evident.

You won’t even have to second guess yourself or think about it, because contact with him will feel natural and reciprocal.

If however, you often find that your calls go unanswered and you’re always the one initiating contact with him, then he clearly doesn’t want a relationship with you.

Avoiding contact of any kind is a typical sign someone is pushing you away. Whether they’re doing it consciously or subconsciously, it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that their actions are communicating very clearly to you that they don’t want you close.

#8: He Doesn’t Keep His Word

When a man pushes you away, he will do things to sabotage the relationship.

Not keeping his word is a typical sign he is pushing you away.


Wouldn’t someone who’s pushing you away not make any promises to you at all?

Yes, that’s true, they wouldn’t make promises to you.

But some men will continue to make verbal promises to you out of guilt or obligation, or just to let you down slowly.

They know they don’t want to invest in you or be with you anymore, but still feel obligated in some way to keep you happy.

Or they don’t want you to get too angry, so they keep you confused instead.

A confused person is less likely to act out in anger or to cry and make a fuss, so if a man wants to push you away slowly, it pays for him to keep you confused.

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.

#9: His Body Language Gives It Away

If you’re looking for signs he is pushing you away, you’ll see it in his body language.

He will:

  • Ignore you more
  • Walk off on you during conversations
  • Act warm (smile) to others and be cold towards you (you’ll see the coldness through the frowns and a pursed, tight mouth)
  • His body will stiffen up in your presence (this communicates aggression or defensiveness)

If you’re still not entirely sure whether your man has the potential to commit to you in the future, I recommend you find out through our quick, free quiz:

QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz!

#10: He Assumes You Have Bad Intent

If you try to get close to him or fix the relationship and he returns your efforts with accusations, then he’s pushing you away.

He may accuse you of:

  • Trying to bother him
  • Annoy him
  • Use him; or
  • Make him angry

…When you’re just trying to do what you feel would help you two become closer.

If you’re still wondering: is he pushing me away? Look no further than this sign.

If someone wants to push you away, they will find any opportunity to assume you have bad intent, in order to close all doors to communication and connection.

SECRETS REVEALED… Discover how you too can use this little known “Dark Feminine Art” to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before it’s gone.)

#11: He Picks Fights

…Like all the time.

In any strong relationship, there will be arguments and fights. 

But if one of you is constantly taking any opportunity to pick fights, that’s not a good sign.

Picking fights a lot essentially means he:

  • Doesn’t respect you
  • Doesn’t want to connect with you; and
  • He is trying very hard to create stress to break down the relationship

Related: 10 Seemingly Harmless Signs of a Toxic Relationship.

12: He Pulls Away Over The Slightest Things

Any chance he gets.

He will want any excuse to keep his distance.

All men pull away at some point, usually because they need to maintain their masculine equilibrium and rebuild their testosterone levels.

Read more about this in my article: Why Men Pull Away And How To Stay High Value.

But if you find your man acting distant or cutting you off over the slightest things, he probably doesn’t care enough about the relationship (or you).

There are exceptions of course, such as when he’s going through immense stress, or coping with an illness or a loss.

Sometimes these things can make a man a little more absent.

But if you accidentally served him a different tea than he asked for and he repays you by acting like he wants a divorce, he might just be pushing you away.

Related: 7 Undercover Reasons Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy.

QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

#13: There Are No Signs That He Cares

This is one of the saddest signs he is pushing you away.

Strong romantic relationships are built on a foundation of love, empathy, attraction and deep emotional connection.

This means that a man who is in love with you (or fell in love with you in the past), he will always care to some extent.

He will always want to see you healthy and well.

He’ll be happy for you when you experience success.

That’s the beauty of having a man in love with you. 

MORE: How Do Men Fall In Love? 6 High Value Traits Men Routinely Fall In Low With.

You get to experience the other side of the story that many women claim doesn’t exist.

A man will sacrifice himself just to see you well, happy and safe.

But if you get diagnosed with cancer or lose your job and he doesn’t even seem to care, that’s the ultimate sign he’s pushing you away.

It may be a deliberate attempt on his part to send the message that he wants you to move on with your life, or it could just be a subconscious way in which he pushes you out of his life.

Either way, it’s not good.

Now that we’ve covered the signs he’s pushing you away, let’s look at why he’s doing it.

Because when you look at the signs someone is pushing you away, it never looks like they have positive intent.

It always looks (and feels) like they want to hurt you.

And it’s extremely hard on you to be with a man who pushes you away.

But one thing that can help is if you either:

  1. Understand why he does what he does; or
  2. Find a better meaning to place on his actions

Because at the end of the day, some people really do want a relationship with you, but just run some unhealthy patterns that they’re not even aware of.

Sometimes they’re deeply insecure, have low self esteem, or are just very scared.

(Not that you should tolerate that, but at least it gives you some clarity).

We also need to look at the biggest culprit in him pushing you away, and that’s an insecure attachment style.

Why Do Men Push Women Away?

If a man is pushing you away, it’s usually because pushing you away serves him somehow.
It either serves him to:

  • Avoid intimacy
  • Save his energy; or
  • To get rid of you

None of these reasons sound good, and I’m aware of how much it hurts you when he pushes you away.

But your man will do what your man wants to do, so it’s imperative to have an understanding of why he’s doing it so that you can save yourself from future heartache.

But it’s also important to understand him so that you can save the relationship in the future, if that is what you wish to do. 

(Provided it’s also what he wishes to do, of course.)

Now we’ve covered the signs he is trying to push you away, let’s look at 11 reasons why men push women away.

When a man pushes a woman away

#1: He Has Insecure Attachment Patterns

There’s one major predictor for the behavior of pushing people away, and that’s an insecure attachment style.

Now, when people think of insecurely attached people who push others away, they typically think of people who have an avoidant attachment style.

But anyone with insecure attachment patterns will push others away.

Whether you have anxious attachment patterns, avoidant attachment patterns or disorganized attachment patterns, you will push others away at some point.

And this is because you don’t feel safe in intimacy.

You don’t find it easy to trust an intimate partner, and you assume they will abandon you or hurt you, so you sabotage the relationship.

So if you can see that your man does try to connect with you sometimes and you have felt close to him before, but notice that he’ll suddenly push you away sometimes, he may be insecurely attached.

What does this mean?

It just means that his internal value system prefers distance rather than intimacy.

He feels safer there.

And you’ll notice it especially when you have periods of closeness, because he won’t last long in that space.

He will:

  • Zone out or check out
  • Become hostile
  • Act uncomfortable
  • Abruptly brush off your attempts to touch him; or
  • Get angry

This is a very sad place for you to be as his lover.

But there are things that can help you in your relationship (if you really want to make it work):

Here are 11 Genius Ways to Communicate to An Avoidant Partner

And I recommend you read up on the Four Types of Attachment Styles In Relationships.

Also, it would help if you also figured out your own core attachment style, because this will give you many ‘aha moments’ and help you work out how likely it is that the relationship will work with this man long term.

QUIZ TIME: What is my core attachment style? CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz!

(Why is this important? It is because your core attachment style largely dictates and influences what happens in your relationship. Thus it’s imperative you understand your core attachment style!) 

#2: He Doesn’t Actually Like You

When a man pushes a woman away, sometimes it’s simply because he doesn’t really like you.

He may have had sex with you, but he doesn’t actually like you.

Yes, men will still have sex with you if they don’t like you.

They’ll do it if they hate you.

So try not to confuse his sexual interest in you with love or commitment, because in a man’s mind, love and sex are two completely different things.

Learn more about this in my article: Can A Man Sleep With A Woman Without Developing Feelings?

#3: You Are Too Clingy

Remember when I said above that a man will push a woman away because it serves him somehow?

Well, men will definitely do this if they feel like you’re being too clingy.

Even if he’s in love with you, sometimes when you’re too clingy that it’s suffocating him or taking too much value, he’ll just push you away.

And he’ll do it to preserve his own resources.

If a man has been pushing you away too much, there is one specific phrase I recommend you say to him to capture his attention and to see how much he cares.

CLICK here to discover the one thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

#4: He Can’t Give You What You Need

When a man feels like he cannot give you what you need or make you happy, then he may start pushing you away.

This is especially true if you’re critical of him or can’t be happy with what he has to offer.

Of course he’ll push you away if he doesn’t feel like he can make you happy or be of worth to you.

No one wants to be in a relationship like that.

Recommended: THIS Is Why Women REALLY Push Men Away.

#5: He Doesn’t Feel Worthy of You

This is sabotage in action. A man who feels unworthy of love won’t want to keep it in his life.

This isn’t too common, as most men want the best ‘catch’ they can get, and will try to hold on to her when they find her.

But some men really will push you away when they feel they don’t deserve you or when they don’t feel worthy of love.

QUIZ TIME: Are you truly living in your feminine energy? CLICK HERE to find out with my specially crafted 9 Question Quiz!

#6: He Wants to Hurt You Or Get Revenge

Though it’s rare, some men may want to hurt you because you hurt them.

Perhaps you’ve pushed him away before, or you have hurt him deeply and he’s sick of it, so he tries to get revenge by hurting you.

Not nice, but sometimes it does happen!

#7: He’s Experiencing External Stressors

Usually this type of thing happens with avoidant or anxious men, because securely attached men don’t have as high stress levels as insecurely attached men.

What this means is that when a securely attached man experiences external stressors in life, he will be much calmer, more relaxed and his stress won’t escalate at breakneck speed.

Things look different when you’re with an anxious man, or even an avoidant.

When the anxious man encounters external stressors, his body will be swamped with stress.

So much so that he can’t connect with you and deal with the stressful event.

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.

#8: He Wants to Handle His Problems Alone

Sometimes a man won’t perceive value in what you have to offer when he’s got problems to solve.

If you try to help but he doesn’t want your help (and you continue pushing yourself on him when he clearly wants to deal with things alone), he might push you away.

He may also just be the kind of guy who needs a lot of space, or peace and quiet to solve problems.

He may operate better this way.

If that’s the case, give him space and he may come back to the relationship with more to offer.

#9: He Feels like You’re Too Different

If you guys can never be on the same page about anything, he may feel like you’re too different, therefore it won’t work out long term.

In casual relationships, it’s ok for a man and a woman to be very different. 

But when it comes to a long term relationship, you can’t be so different that you don’t see eye to eye on important issues.

Important issues include:

  • Health choices
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Parenting choices (or whether to have children or not)
  • And even your internal values

Another factor that comes into play is your nature. 

If your man has a kind hearted, thoughtful and calm nature, but you have a more aggressive, impulsive or envious nature, that makes things very hard.

It doesn’t mean things can never work, because you can influence each other over time to be on the same page.

But if your relationship is overcome with these crucial differences, he may not want to be with you, and choose to push you away.

Case study: Learn how Kristin went from being completely burnt out with online dating, sick of getting ghosted and completely exhausted from giving her heart and soul with nothing in return… To having high value men begging for her attention & having the most “electric” date of her entire life. (…All by changing one simple strategy.)

#10: You Expose His Insecurities And Fears

Yes, if he feels like you’re often exposing his insecurities and fears, he’ll most definitely prefer to keep a healthy distance between you both.

This issue can occur in several different ways though.

For example, you could expose his insecurities and fears because you’re a toxic person, but you could also expose his insecurities and fears just by being a confident person while he’s insecure.

If your guy is crippled by a feeling of low self worth, it’s going to be hard to maintain a strong intimate relationship anyway.

A strong relationship can only be built on a strong foundation. And a strong foundation begins with two esteemed people.

Someone who has low esteem for themselves can change and grow over time, but it’s a lot of work on the shoulders of their other half.

SPECIAL REPORT: How to Become the World’s Most Attractive & Feminine Goddess (Even if you have no self esteem or no man has ever paid you any attention…) CLICK HERE to download it at no cost.


#11: His Other Girlfriend (or Wife) Is Waiting

What can I say? Sometimes a man has someone else who is competing against you for his time and attention.

If his girlfriend or wife feels something is off or is demanding more from him, he may push you away so that he can fulfil her needs.

What to Do If Someone You Love Is Pushing You Away?

Let’s look at what to do when your man is pushing you away.

#1: Work Out Why He’s Pushing You Away

The most obvious thing to do first is consider the reason why he is pushing you away.

This is because the reason for pushing you away will determine the course of action.

I don’t recommend you ask “why are you pushing me away?!” unless you know you’re dealing with a person who is highly self aware and willing to be vulnerable.

This is because asking them why they’re pushing you away won’t do much. It may also make them defensive or feel resentful towards you (perhaps for revealing them.)

When a man pushes you away, it’s usually because he’s trying to meet a need. Pushing you away serves him somehow.

So ask yourself this question:

“What does pushing me away do for him?”

Simply try to feel what it does for him and you’ll get to learn why he’s pushing you away much quicker.

It may also help to learn a bit about the psychology of men in dating, because men think differently to women. They have different reproductive agendas.

And if you want to fast-track the process of getting him to commit, I recommend our most popular course, Understanding Men for a world-class understanding of the masculine psychology.

CLICK here to learn more about ‘Understanding Men’.

(The promise of this course is for you discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment.)

#2. Then Determine Your Next Step based on Your Answer in Step #1

If he’s pushing you away because he doesn’t actually want you, then you shouldn’t try to bring him back. Why would you want to?

However, if he’s pushing you away because he has issues with insecure attachment, then you can try to bring him back to you by:

  • Building trust
  • Making him feel safe in the relationship. This includes making sure he doesn’t feel judged and ensuring he doesn’t feel like you could abandon him
  • And working together as a team to help him earn secure attachment

#3: Accept Where He Is At Before You Act

Sometimes when a man pushes a woman away, the woman tries to change him or coax him into coming back to the relationship in the way that she wants him to.

But what if he needs you to give him something you’re not even seeing that he needs?

What if he just doesn’t have the awareness or the resources to offer you what you want and need?

Some men won’t, and that’s just how it is.

If a man either doesn’t want to invest in you or is too driven by fear to offer you real value in the relationship long term, then try not to live in denial about it.

Try to see him for who he is.

And then work out whether you love him enough to stay and hope for a better future.

You can be romantic, and you can be hopeful.

But only if there really is the smallest bit of hope to hold onto.

He may have offered you some connection here and there, but has it been enough to last?

Or is your soul constantly aching for the smallest indication that he may still want you?

If it is and you’ve accepted this pattern for a long time, it’s time to stop.

Instead, choose to accept what his actions are showing you.

Work from there. It’s a place of power, because it’s a place of true awareness.

I hope you’ve found this article helpful. Before I finish, I wanted to answer some of the commonly asked questions about when a man pushes you away.

SECRETS REVEALED… Discover how you too can use this little known “Dark Feminine Art” to weed out the toxic men whilst cultivating real emotional attraction with high value high esteemed men. (CLICK HERE to enrol in this free class before it’s gone.)

Frequently Asked Questions

Why Do Guys Push You Away And Then Come Back?

This could be hot and cold behavior.

If he’s always going cold and then hot and is never giving you any signs he’s fully committed to you, then you have a problem.

No healthy relationship is built on hot and cold behavior.

It could also be something else…if a guy pushes you away, disappears into thin air and then comes back, there’s a term for that.

It’s called zombieing.

As Paul Brian shares in his article for NCRW:

“Zombieing is when a guy suddenly disappears with no explanation and then reappears weeks or months later as if back from the dead. “

Zombieing isn’t healthy for you and I don’t recommend you tolerate it.

But as for the question, why do guys push you away and then come back, there are a few answers:

Why is He Pushing Me Away If He Loves Me?

There could be a few reasons:

  • Because his nervous system is geared more towards emotional distance than intimacy
  • He’s emotionally unavailable
  • He feels incapable of making you happy

There are 7 common signs a woman is perceived as low value to all men, because men simply perceive value differently to women. Do you know what these signs are and how to avoid them like the plague? CLICK HERE to download this special report.

Why Do Guys Push You Away When They Are Stressed?

Is a guy is emotionally healthy, confident and securely attached, he won’t push you away when he is stressed.

They may pull away, but they won’t push you away.

There’s a difference.

But as for the guys who do push you away when they are stressed, it’s because their nervous system cannot cope.

It’s because his body is literally swamped with stress hormones and he has no room for you.

I’ve explained more about why some guys are like this in my point number 7 above about when a man is experiencing external stressors.

Thanks for reading and I wish you all the love and romance in the world!

By the way, if you need more support and haven’t yet joined our facebook group, consider this your invite to join us! CLICK here to join our facebook group.

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